When life is a burden.

11 Oct 2015 | dilbert

dilbert work ethic

Excerpt from The Office:

Jan: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on earth would it do that?
Michael: People work faster after.
Jan: Magically?
Michael: No, they have to make up for the time they lost watching the movie.

Jeff Winger:

Well, the funny thing about being smart is that you can get through most of life without ever having to do any work.

Here, you watch it.

11 Oct 2015 | social media

cool-grandma

Louis CK:

There’s people holding an iPads in front of their faces. It looked like we’re all in the witness protection program. Like, the kids can’t see their parents, and everybody’s watching a shitty movie of something that’s happening ten feet, like, look at your fucking kid. The resolution on the kid is unbelievable if you just look. It’s totally HD.

Brian Feldman:

Shitpics happen when an image is put through some diabolical combination of uploading, screencapping, filtering, cropping, and reuploading. They are particularly popular on Instagram.

Also, sorority girls.

[via @waynedahlberg]

Closed due to budget cuts and general lack of interest.

11 Oct 2015 | weeds

Ron Swanson:

I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero initiative. He’s not a team player. He’s never one to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee.

Jeff Winger:

I’m always willing to go the extra mile to avoid doing something.

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.

Knowledge is never useless.

09 Oct 2015 | utopia

Mike Shiner:

A man becomes a critic when he cannot be an artist, the same way that a man becomes an informer when he cannot be a soldier.

Michael Norr:

The endgame, in terms of academics, should not be a grade. It should be understanding.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

09 Oct 2015 | the wire, the state of harmony

Kelly Quirino:

But there will always be a small piece of me that finds fault with my aversion to ambition—a little voice that tells me I am wasting what I have been given, that what I am is not enough.

Martin Vanger:

It’s hard to believe that the fear of offending can be stronger than the fear of pain, but you know what? It is.

Are we human, or are we dancer?

25 Sep 2015 | the state of harmony

Nathan Ellis:

I find any communication of a non-mathematical nature very difficult. Because I don’t talk much, people think I don’t have anything to say, or that I’m stupid. And that’s not true. I have lots of things to say. I’m just afraid to say them. I know that I’m strange in lots of ways. I think I see the world in a different way to other people. I’ve always been like that.

Greg:

In a typical high school life, you belong to one nation which can never guarantee you total security. But I thought I found a way out. Get citizenship in every nation. Get passports to everywhere. Just be on low-key good terms with everyone casually interact with them once in a while in a way that is invisible to everyone else. Never commit to an interaction that won’t be casual or mellow.

High resistance against the world.

20 Sep 2015 | quiet

John Spencer:

Too often, quiet students struggle academically because they seem to be an anomaly in a system that equates silence with good behavior and good behavior with academic achievement. They never cause problems. They are often too shy to ask for help. They struggle in silence, waiting for a teacher to notice.

Jim Prideaux:

You’re a good watcher, though, eh? Us loners always are.

Patrick:

You see things. And you understand. You’re a wallflower.

Same soup, just reheated.

11 Sep 2015 | the kiling

John Gruber:

It’s right out of the Steve Jobs handbook: something you don’t offer is a terrible idea, until you offer it yourself, at which point you explain why your solution is the first to get it right.

Stick:

Smart is making the right decision at the right time.

People don’t treasure things anymore. You should try it.

11 Sep 2015 | elementary

Marnie Michaels:

The totem of chat, and no. The lowest, that would be Facebook, followed by Gchat, then texting, then email, and then phone. Face-to-face is, of course, ideal. But it’s not of this time.

Leah:

Everything’s easier online. You chat to who you want to chat to, you decide you don’t like them, one click and they’re gone. You never have to see ‘em again. They take the piss. Click. They act like a dick. Click. You embarrass yourself… Click.

Steve:

Four. Whole. Hours. To see the Mona. Lisa. Google it. You’ll see it straightaway.

I'm not telling. I'm from Asia, I'm mysterious, deal with it.

11 Sep 2015 | privacy, the big bang theory

Bruce Schneier:

Privacy isn’t about hiding something. It’s about being able to control how we present ourselves to the world. It’s about maintaining a public face while at the same time being permitted private thoughts and actions. It’s about personal dignity.

Haley Dunphy:

Saying nothing is not lying, okay? It’s just letting the truth speak for itself.

Jenny Lee:

I don’t like it when people pry. I shouldn’t pry myself.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11